We pray because the Bible encourages us to.
Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
·Ephesians 6:18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
The Bible also encourages us to pray for each other.
·James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
Acts 2:42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.
Matthew 6:9-13 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.
Prayer can bring peace and hope to those praying and being prayed for. It can rally and bring together complete strangers to pray for a cause or situation. And it is often an important part of one’s spiritual journey and aligning oneself with God.
If prayer can do all of these positive things, when and how can prayer and those being prayed for become victims of religious trauma? Religious trauma occurs when, “A person’s religious experience is stressful, degrading, dangerous, abusive, or damaging. Traumatic religious experiences may harm or threaten to harm someone’s physical, emotional, mental, sexual, or spiritual health and safety.” according to therapist.com.
Prayer trauma can occur when a private prayer is shared without permission, is used as gossip or as a weapon. People have lost jobs, relationships and respect all because they thought they were sharing a “private” prayer with someone, when in fact, all details and more were shared.
I have to admit I did not truly understand what a problem this is until I read a post on Instagram about prayer teams and praying in church. I immediately chimed in and said, “I love and appreciate our prayer team; they are dedicated prayer warriors and I’m honored to be on such a team with them.” Imagine my shock and disconcertment the next day, when I saw comment after comment of people saying prayer at church and prayer teams are "dangerous "and "awful.” They talked about how prayer can cause religious trauma!
One comment said, “I had a pastor who made it clear to the congregation that if someone asked for prayer for someone who wasn’t in church that day, he would be personally calling them later to let them know they were being prayed for and who had brought their name up in prayer. I’d say prayer gossip had become a bit problematic with that congregation.”
I remember when churches and prayer groups started saying names and details were not necessary to pray; if someone asks to be prayed for, you just pray. In my opinion, it’s sadly why not everyone should be in a prayer group; if one cannot hold secrets, the prayer team is not the place to be.
Another comment from that Instagram post said, “I had an entire community find out details about a deeply personal, private situation I was involved in because someone shared a ‘prayer request’ about it without my consent. The trauma from the ripple effect of people who knew this about me before I even met them lasted for years.”
Our prayer team met soon after to talk about these issues and how to handle this not only amongst ourselves but also to protect and educate others.
Following are some recommendations for sharing prayers with a prayer team or during community prayer time to keep oneself and the person being prayed for safe and free from prayer trauma.
1. The prayer team agrees that there is what we call the “inner sanctum” of privacy. These are the prayers that are texted, emailed or talked about within the team. These prayers are of the utmost privacy and are never repeated outside the prayer team. The only exception is if the person who shared it with the team makes a request for someone to share it at church for them.
2. The next sanctum of privacy is community prayer time. Remember, just because you know something about someone, that does not give you automatic permission to share that information in public prayer. We need to ask people for permission to share what we know about them and want to pray about before doing so. I think sometimes we forget this because we believe so much in the power of prayer, we want to share and pray, but people have their own ideas of privacy and confidentiality, and we need to respect that.
3. Get into the habit of asking for permission from those you want to pray for before bringing their prayer to a prayer team or community time of prayer. Then, when you publicly share that prayer, get into the habit of holding yourself accountable by saying, “So and so asked me or gave me permission to share their prayer with you.”
4. Remember, it is an honor to pray for people, therefore, we don’t want what is a beautiful and sacred practice to turn into a traumatic or negative experience for others. A note to remember is whenever you share a prayer, just like a secret, it has the unfortunate capacity to become gossip. A shared prayer is no longer a secret.
Black Forest Community Church believes in the power of prayer. It is why we have a community time of prayer every week at church, and it is why we have an active prayer team. We at BFCC commit to holding ourselves accountable to sacred prayer; to healthy prayer and to be a trauma free faith community.
Leslie