This was the last in our series: Being. beautiful, bold, brilliant, blessed and today was boundless. At the start of church we were in blizzard conditions but Corina and Mandy and Russ and myself gathered to lead worship with the cozy group that gathered. Corina wrote and shared a beatutiful testimony. If you could not get out this morning here is your opportunity to get a little Spirit on this Sabbath day. - Marta
Testimony By Corina Hurst, Multigenerational Ministry Guide
We are all, each one of us, made in God's divine image, but we sometimes make the mistake of piecing God together in our own image. I recognize this in myself.
Most of the role models life handed me when I was younger were old white men, so when I met God, he was an old white man too. It makes sense, as many of my favorite people to this day fit that description. One of these people, about a year ago, told me that his God was definitely, definitely a woman. And I got it, this time when he said that, but I didn't always.
My very first day in a congregation of the United Church of Christ, I read the words "our mother and father who art in heaven..." aloud. I didn't like it. This is what they told their children? Mother knew her place was not on that golden throne, and so should whoever wrote that propaganda.
I went home and said " I guess the Bible doesn't matter here" with my nose in the air, just like it sounds. But then I sat with it awhile.
What if my God was a mother, too? Would she be gentle and soft spoken where my God had been booming and authoritarian? Would she be home when I needed her, instead of busy with other people's prayers? Would she make me toast with jelly when I didn't feel well, instead of telling me to tough it out and go to my room? Would mother God be sober, and stable and reliable, where the God I'd built for myself... he was all powerful, but he was always doing something more important or more fun. I thought that was how it was supposed to be.
It was almost offensive to me, this idea of a tender, feminine God, even if she was probably the God I needed at that time in my life. It smelled like weakness, and I feared what comforts in my world might be shaken if I let go of that white beard I'd been holding for dear life. So I sat with that too. I went through all the stages of grief for my sturdy father God, but couldn't totally abandon him.
Many times I've thought about this, and many times I've come to the conclusion that there's more to the story. I tend to think in Black and White more often than not, because it feels safe, but the realm of heaven is just too colorful for that kind of restriction.
Anymore, you will most often hear me use "God" as a pronoun. This is because I find that most of the obstacles in my spiritual life have come from my desire to limit God, and box God up cleanly into roles I'm comfortable with. If you've also found yourself doing this control game, you know it usually ends in lessons learned, unless you squeeze your eyes shut tight and sing lalalalala until your opportunity for growth passes you by. God's boundless nature can be hard to capture, but that's part of the journey.
My friend Tom says that his God is definitely a woman, and I believe that's true. Another friend, Maddie, told me last week that she just doesn't feel right if she doesn't talk to her Papa God
every day, and that is a beautiful, generous manifestation, and brings her so much peace and joy. I deeply believe in that God too.
And just the same way, I've accepted that my God comes to me, begging me to follow deer tracks in the snow. My God whispers the world's goodness to my ears in creaking branches that touch the sky. And I just don't know how to name that so simply, in two or three letters. In one syllable.
I now speak just to "God" instead of "Him" because I'm working on getting acquainted with the fact that my God is he and she and they and none of those. My God is light and fresh air and Earth, art and word and feast and the chaotic, reckless compassion of Christ that's so much bigger than a single gendered pronoun.
But if God calls some day and asks me to use another name, I will. Because that's what we do for those we love.
May you go in freedom to know God today.