Step 1 of a 12 step program

I would have called Bana. My college roommate from 1995-1999. We lived in a small dorm room, for all four years. She now lives in Cali with her husband and baby. Bana is from Cherry Hill, NJ. A suburb of Philly and NYC. I am from Fairfax, VA, a suburb of D.C. Two city gals that ended up at a small private school settled in the Blue Ridge Mountains of WV. I guess they thought we would be good dorm room mates. And, we were.

Bana taught me a lot about what it was like as a black young women. Though none of it was explicit teachings. Only experienced as we did college together. Things like Tae Bo classes, late night hot cocoa runs, Chinese restaurant dives and the local town bars. We were in our early twenties and we did not know about the words or terms, systemic/institutional racism and white privilege. Bana still taught me about her world, what it had been like before college and what it was like in college. The word ally wasn't used either. I was her friend and she was mine. Perhaps I was her white partner on a particular part of her journey as she was my partner too. How fortunate. For years after college, Bana called me every month. I was having babies then and was underwater with exhaustion.

Instead I called Beth. She put me on speaker phone while she did the dishes. Her college-age daughter Amelia held court on the speaker phone, while her husband Bill chimed in. I have talked to Beth multiple times a day for many years. She too, has taught me about her world. Her world of being a white mama and raising bi-racial children. Three girls. We talked for about an hour as I drove home from Denver after a workshop called Sacred Conversations on Racism this past Friday.

Mostly I talked about the video we watched on the origins of homo sapiens. Science tells us that modern humans originated on the Continent of Africa and it is where humans became civilized. I also told her about conversations I had that day. One Jamaican women suggested within the context of a larger conversation "black people are getting tired of teaching white people how to do this." Meaning, how to diversify, how to welcome, how to undo systemic racism in this country. I was jarred by this. And, have sat with it for the past twenty-four hours.

I also told Amelia about the author we listened to that wrote the book White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism by Robin DiAngelo. DiAngelo was hilarious and made jokes about white progressive people. She did this because it gave levity to the crowd of white progressive people as she talked about racism. I will be downloading this book next.

We were all reminded (the white progressives in the room) that we are all racist. Multiple times, in fact. It was hard. It still is hard. Step 1 of a 12 step program: Who cares to admit complete defeat? Practically no one, of course. Every natural instinct cries out against the idea of personal powerlessness. It is truly awful to admit. Even the most well-meaning white people are drunk on racism. It is our countries addiction and illness. We are so drunk and sick. Even, when we try, we can't see it. This is what addiction looks like.

And, then I talked to Stephany. Just for a minute. With whisky in hand, I said, I have got to talk to you about this workshop I did with the racial justice minister of the UCC. It was hard, because I, too, have white fragility. Because, I am Marta, and I am racist. Stephany is a lovely, powerful, educated and a political black women. Most of all, she is faithful. She said something like, I guess it was not about white-people's feelings. And, then I took another sip of whiskey.

Step 2 of the 12 step program: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Sacred conversations happen when we acknowledge God at the center and all the love that God brings. Sacred conversations happen when we not only acknowledge God's love but then recognize that love as safe. I remembered my friend Bana and then talked with my people. I am deeply grateful for Bana and Beth (and all her people) and Stephany. People I trust and see and then hear. It is in those moments that there is a Power greater than all of us working to restore our racist insanity.

This Week

This week.

This week I write with a humbled heart. This week, in rural El Paso County, I sit in my little church among the Ponderosas and falling Aspen leaves and pray. This week.

Before Thursday. Before Sunday.

On Tuesday, I began to engage Micah 6:8. Do Justice, love kindness and walk humbly with God. The Rabbi last night quoted Jeremiah. Be righteous and kind. Because this week required the voices of the prophets.

On Tuesday I began to craft a sermon on Micah 6 using the stories of our country on that day. A day when our government risked navigating human dignity and equality of our Transgender siblings. Siblings, because we are all children of God. Related in love and compassion. Related in hope and mercy and most of all a ton of Grace. All of those things being the blood of faith;

shed for us,

blessed for us,

poured for us in remembrance of who we belong to...each other. I began that day with wonderings and musings not knowing what lie ahead.

Friday morning, I sit to write. I write about requirement. I write about covenants. I write about the stories of our bible. Neither is there Male, Nor female, for you all are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28. I write about the stories of our world. Did I mention, it was also the last Sunday of our Stewardship Campaign? I write about these things and then I write about the importance of investing in a community such as this, in times such as this.

Saturday morning-Saturday afternoon and then into the evening. Seventy-two hours of hell. Defeat. The valley. The world turned upside down, feeling like eternal torment. Living fiery portrait of the devils world. Theology of hell at its best.

Mail box bombs. Racism. Antisemitism. Mass shootings.

This week.

Had the events of our transgender community upset the empire? Then, they came home to their white, male, wealthy, cisgender kingdom to "kick the vulnerable (dog)." Perhaps misplacing their grief of a world fighting against dominance? Kicking the opponent, kicking the marginalized, kicking the ones with historical trauma. Kicking the ones that don't claim power and privilege in this place and time? When someone in power over you forces something upon you, and you in turn force something on someone under you. Might this be, what happened?

Sunday, I preached the sermon, I wrote Friday morning. Though, I did arrive early to church. I gathered eleven white candles, a plate full of t-candles, matches and a hymn of grief. I sung the singing bowl. We sang the hymn together, lit the candles and brought heaven to the hell. Replacing the empire with God's Kin-dom, if only for an hour.

This is why we invest in a place such as this, in times such as this.

It's not youth group and it's not Sunday school....

We were talking about the PRAYground, the Mid-Week Ministry on the first Wednesday of the month and perhaps a new idea called Faith Lab Centers during fellowship hour. It's not youth group and it's not Sunday school but it is faith learning. As one wise women in the church said: "it's Jesus outside the box."

When she said that I imagined a crayon-drawn- box moving in thin air while Jesus danced on the outside of it's perimeter. There was a little word bubble above Jesus' head that said: Gottcha! You can still know me outside the box.

Many questions have been asked in the past few weeks, since discontinuing (at-least for now) the traditional Sunday School model at BFCC. Sunday school, created at the industrial revolution, to teach children how to read, has changed in pedagogy (in some ways) but stayed the same in model (mostly). These children spent their days in the factories working and, so Sunday and church was a perfect place to be educated. After the industrial revolution church-culture thrived. It was one of the main sources of entertainment, activity and tradition for nuclear family. Sanctuaries over-flowed. Providing "age-appropriate" church for children in a "traditional" school manner. Sitting at tables or desks reading the bible is how Sunday school was always done and would continue. For several generations these children got stars for learning bible verses, knew the parables and memorized the hymns. This form of faith learning, worked for some and turned off others. Some returning to church with their families as adults and some not.

Did it teach them about God? Who God might be for them? How they might relate to God in life's darkest moments? Did it teach them about the person Jesus was and how we might be followers of someone like him? Did it teach about Jesus' passions, his prophecy his wisdom and how we might use those teachings in our daily life?

I loved church so much as a young person that I entered an undergraduate program in Christian Education. And, the program, taught us how to examine traditional Sunday school curriculum. It taught us sophisticated ways to organize a Christian Education program (particularly in large congregations). It taught us how to train others to use the traditional Sunday school curriculum. It also taught us about the liturgical calendar, story-telling and what to do with a "one-room" Sunday school. It taught us that one size does not fit all.

Over the past couple of decades education has changed. Families have changed. Young people have changed. The church Sunday school model...not so much. And, we measure our success and failures from this traditional model.

The idea of multiple intelligences is recognized, we value process over content, experience over curricula. Our families are no longer simply nuclear. Capitalism is at an all-time high, meaning education is competitive and extra-curricular activities provide no time for faith-education. Parents have less time with their kids and whole families less time together. Churches are shrinking and when families want to go to church on a regular basis they often don't want to be sperated (once again) from their kids. By the way, the adverage church attendance of a whole family is once a month. Not enough to learn a bible story, embody it and apply it to their lives. The adult Sunday school teachers are exhausted and lack creativity. They too don't know how to apply God to their personal story and share it with our young ones. Recruiting dedicated teachers that want to teach faith, is hard.

Why are we putting Jesus in a box?

None of this is an excuse to not offer anything for families with children and youth in the home. It is an opportunity to think about other ways we can teach faith. It is an opportunity to be radically hospitable for this time and this place. The same women who provided the Jesus outside the box image said, "just by entering the faith community, Spirit is activated, and God is known. What more do folks want?"

The reason that I wanted to work in the church was because of my experiences. But, what I will tell you is that I don't love Jesus because of my third grade Sunday school class room. I love Jesus because there were adults in the church that took an interest in me. I love Jesus because the space felt like a sanctuary from the secular culture. I love Jesus because I went on mission trips and to soup kitchens. This is where I met Jesus. I had an interest in the teachings of Jesus because I served a Sader dinner one Lent, volunteered in worship and generally felt like I belonged. That I mattered. That feeling of belonging...that was God. I did not encounter God in a Sunday school classroom and by a traditional curriculum. It was in the activity of the church, that made me fall in love with the work of the church.

What can we create that is faith learning but not Sunday School and not Youth Group...?

When will it not become a failure if a Sunday school program does not work exactly the way it worked twenty years ago or even fifty years ago? When can we take Jesus outside the box?